And then …. total silence.

Just after 6 p.m. the family I was expecting arrived: Suzanne, aunt Rely and uncle Bert. We walked into Linda´s room where at that moment Paul was alone with her. Sandra and Patrick had gone outside to get some fresh air. Right at that moment things seemed to go totally wrong with Linda, Paul saw us and gesticulated that we should call for help immediately. I warned the ward sister and went back into the family room with Rely and Suzanne. The ward sister immediately called Intensive Care and in no time a whole specialist team was gathered around Linda´s bed. An anaesthetist was also called. Not to give a narcosis this time but to get her ´pulse´ back. Linda´s heart had stopped beating and she was no longer breathing. Paul stayed with Linda all the time, while Bert came back to the family room and a few minutes later they had to leave with troubled heart. Despite everything Bert had to go to work that night. He plays the bass at the Northern Dutch Orchestra and they had a concert in Drachten.

Meanwhile Sandra and Patrick joined me again. After a short time Paul came to tell us that Linda was not okay at all. As soon as she had her ´pulse´ back they hurried her to the Intensive Care again. We followed by elevator. There Esther (who was back at her post, intensely shocked) asked us to wait in the family room for a while. Linda was to be connected to several machines again to check her heartbeat, blood pressure and so on.

The while became longer and longer. Just before eight Paul and I were asked to come in. All the while they had been trying to resuscitate Linda, but nothing changed. After what felt to us like an eternity, we decided that we should stop. And while the team did one last attempt also Sandra and Patrick were invited in. Then the team finally gave up. We knew that this was definitely the end. Linda, our little girl, our little sister was no longer with us and would never come back to us. It was Saturday December the 8th well over 20.15 hours.

The space around Linda´s bed was withdrawn from the rest of the IC by screens and easy chairs were placed. We were allowed to take Linda on our lap and sit quietly for a long time. Esther made pictures of us and later on also of Linda in bed when she was washed and dressed. The (roll of) film was given to us when we left.

While Linda was washed and dressed, outside the hospital Paul and Sandra called the families Ouwinga (uncle Jenst) and Janssen (grandfather). When they came back up the paediatrician asked us to allow them to do autopsy because they had no idea what had happened. They also asked to take off some bone marrow. They needed it to exclude leukaemia which they still had their doubts about. After discussing this among the four of us we gave permission for both operations. Shortly after that Kirsten together with Guus, warned by Rany, came back to the hospital. We were allowed to see Linda again. She was now dressed in her white Disney t-shirt and her blue velvet trousers. She looked as if she was just sound asleep.

 The following days.